At the time of this painting I was feeling a certain heaviness in my heart that had been there for several months. It was the kind of heaviness that had me waking up in the middle of the night because even in my dreams, the feeling was present. I felt like I had no control of what was going on in my head and I was simply there, watching it all play out. I was constantly reminded of everything that went wrong and how there was no way I could possibly make things right. I think that’s where this nauseating feeling came from - the idea that I failed and the disappointment of things not going in the direction that I had hoped it would.

There’s a point where I decided to accept the situation and my lack of control over it. I wanted to paint an animal that presented strength but in a gentle and wise sense. I came across the puma, which was described as being silent observers of its surroundings. This resonated with me because of what was going on in my mind. There were no actions that needed to be taken. All I had to do was be a witness to all that was happening. I painted the puma facing forward to symbolize moving forward towards the future. I wanted this painting to emphasize on leaving the past behind.

Originally the background was suppose to be one solid blue color but the night before I painted the canvas, I had a dream about being on a beach. I ended up deciding on the spot to paint a gradient background. I added water in the painting to represent healing. It’s unlikely to find a puma walking around on the beach, especially in the water. I wanted this unlikeliness to represent doing something uncomfortable, which is part of the healing process.

The owl represents using your wisdom and the hard lessons from the past to guide you forward. I used dot are to add some texture and movement to the painting.

Artist Statement: Puma Spirit

Art Journaling As a Form of Meditation

Artist Statement: Moth Spirit